I Did It And So Can You
2 weeks ago I posted on LinkedIn about how I went to visit my horse Luath who is just starting to be ridden and rode her, which was a big day for us both.
It might seem like not a big deal and I have ridden most of my life but my confidence took a knock a couple of years ago and didn't really recover, I had a lot going on in my life, I had skin cancer which involved 2 big operations on my face and we had a very sick relative, and looking back I realize that I began telling myself a story about all the bad things that could happen riding and why would I take the risk when I had so much going on.
I still had my horses and love looking after them but I had this constant push and pull which niggled at me, the push to step outside my comfort zone and the fact that I love riding and the pull to stay safe and not take a risk and get hurt, I hated feeling so vulnerable.
So what changed?
1. Studying hypnotherapy and mind coaching made me realize just how powerful the stories are that we tell ourselves. How they inform our bodies and can stick us right in the middle of fight, flight and freeze without due cause and how important it is to question what we think and how to work on changing our stories.
2. I admitted how I was feeling and although it made no sense to Luath's trainer or even my husband because they felt that I should be confident, they cultivated an environment where I was set up to succeed.
Last night I initially trotted her down the beach (between a walk and a canter) but I was already getting frustrated at myself for not being more confident and just cantering, they then suggested that I go for a canter and reminded me that I had all the tools that I needed if anything went wrong and to trust in both Luath and my training, I did and we cantered most of the beach and it was the best feeling in the world, in the scheme of my riding life it wasn't massive but it was to me.
3. Again my hypnotherapy training helped me, if I felt nervous and believe me horses pick up and mirror, I would breathe in through my toes and out through my fingers, it made me relaxed and she relaxed.
Try it, it really works. Just take a breath and imagine it coming up through your feet all the way up your body and into your mind and then back down into your chest and then out through your arms and fingers...
Confidence comes after the act not before it, if I waited for it to come back I might not have ridden again, but the key is to have the right support and training so that you can cultivate it and set yourself up for success.
How is a lack of confidence holding you back in your life or career?
Would you like to change jobs but perhaps feel that it will be tougher at your age, do you worry if you can repeat your success in another role, or perhaps feel that you will never find that thing that makes you happy.
So if you struggle with your confidence in interviews, your career or life in general, I get it and I can be that person to help you navigate it and be there to support you, pushing you but also setting you up to succeed.
Reach out for a friendly chat and let's get started on your journey.